Give Yourself Permission To Try Something New

Dismantling The Lies We Tell Ourselves That Stop Us From Starting

The Falsehoods

There are starving actors in Los Angeles with master’s degrees in performing arts. You didn’t even get cast in your high school play. So who, all of a sudden, is giving you permission to take up acting?

You can’t tell the difference between a limerick and a haiku, and your rhyming skills end at box and fox. Now you want permission to start writing poetry?

Your mom still has your third-grade art project on the fridge, but you haven’t touched a crayon since. Your college roommate spent hours shading shapes to master their craft, while you were pulling your hair out trying to figure out advanced calculus. You gave up any right to pursue art when you passed that class, right?

Balderdash!

These sentiments are ridiculous. They’re lies we make up in our heads to justify doing the same old thing we did last week. Our brains are experts at inventing excuses that block us from even starting.

In part 1 of my series on giving yourself permission, we are going to look at giving yourself permission to try something new. We’ll examine the lies we tell ourselves, and reframe our mindset to dismiss these thoughts that are preventing us from starting.

---

One place where I regularly see the contrast between those who start and those who believe these lies is at work.

For some reason, we always seem to schedule interviews in the most intimidating location imaginable: the executive boardroom, a room dominated by a long mahogany table, and surrounded by plush leather chairs. Half a dozen of us sit on one side of the table, ready to grill the lone candidate sitting opposite us.

We’re interviewing for a technical support role, a role often viewed as a stepping stone to software development. One of my colleagues inevitably asks the worst interview question known to mankind. You know the one:

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Every candidate is prepared for this, so we hear the same canned answer the previous 20 candidates gave. For this role, the most common response is that they want to become a developer someday. But they’re rarely ready for my follow-up:

“What are you currently doing to become a developer?”

The answers are usually depressing. Often it's something like:

“I’m not doing anything right now, but I started a course ten years ago.”

To be fair, software development has a reputation for being a highly specialized skill that requires formal training. But in reality, it's no different from writing, painting, or playing an instrument. Anyone can pick it up, and there are tons of free resources to help you start. If you don’t know that development is accessible, it’s understandable to think you need a degree.

But here’s the kicker: half of my current development team have backgrounds outside of computer science. Their degrees range from math and music to accounting and physical therapy. The difference? They gave themselves permission to try something new, and that allowed them to build new careers.

So I’m telling you today what I wish I could tell all those candidates:

You don’t need special permission to pursue your interests.

The only person you need permission from is yourself. You get to decide whether to try something new. There will always be reasons not to. Don’t let those excuses keep you from expanding your horizons.

Identify the lies

It can be helpful to identify these lies as they pop into our heads. Simply naming them as such, has immense power in deflating the impact they have on our mindset. When you identify the lie, you can then extract the truth and give yourself a chance.

One place where I’m actively fighting this is right here on Substack. I’m writing weekly posts about creativity, read by people who have a proven track record of doing creative things. I’ve been doing this for just one month. Many of you have been writing for years. My last writing class was in technical writing, and I failed it the first time.

Flip the script

I could list a dozen reasons why someone else should be writing these posts instead of me. But I’m doing it anyway. Why? Because so far, it’s actually been kind of fun. I’ve enjoyed writing these posts, even if they’re just for myself. I am capable of writing and improving with practice. All successful creators started with zero audience and limited skill. Through practice and dedication over time they built their platforms.

Don’t let your laundry list of excuses stop you from trying something new. There is always going to be someone who is smarter, better, younger, more accomplished. These things don't prevent you from trying, or even from being successful. Give yourself the chance by giving yourself permission to try.

It is ok if the new thing doesn’t work

On the flip side, if you try something new and realize you don’t enjoy it, you don’t need anyone’s permission to stop. Don’t feel guilty. Be proud that you gave it a shot, and then move on. It is not a big deal if you don’t connect.

I thought that drawing would be a fun creative outlet. Since having a son, and reading A LOT of children's books, I tried writing and illustrating a book myself. The writing I loved, it was really fun coming up with funny ideas for books. But drawing just wasn’t my cup of tea, I tried and it is fine that it didn’t become an interest.

Avoid Burnout

Or maybe you’re tired and burnt out from doing the same creative things. Maybe it’s time to take a break and give yourself permission to try something different. You might even find that the new thing gives you a fresh angle on the old one and reignites your fire.

Wherever you are in life right now, give yourself permission to try something new this week. You might just discover that you enjoy it.

Tell me in the comments: What are you giving yourself permission to try?

---

Next Week

Next week, the series on giving yourself permission continues with a look at first drafts, works in progress, and knowing when to call something “done.” We’ll be giving ourselves permission to create things that are imperfect, and to be okay with our many flaws.